△⟁▲ we stopped checking for monsters under our beds when we realized they were inside of us.▲⟁△

Like i said in the last set, i was so wrong.
 
i got home thursday afternoon, and got this text message from eric,
"I do wanna tell you though, i had a lot of fun hanging out but i can't be in a relationship anytime soon. Not that you were thinking that, I'm just saying."
 
i literally just melted to the floor and started crying instantly.
 
i told him how i've had the biggest crush on him for like ever and how everything i ever hoped of happening was ruined.
 
he said he was so completely sorry, but with his band and college coming up a relationship was just too much too handle and that he should've been clearer with his intentions.
 
i mean i guess i can i can understand his reasons, but you can't cuddle with a girl for 3 hours, kiss her, and expect her to have no feelings for you.
 
so here i am, completely heartbroken, and unable to figure out how i'll get over this.
 
like eric was perfect for me. we have so many common interests and i just feel like with him the conversations will never stop. and like i wanted to be with him so badly, and do everything with him.
 
like going to the zoo and holding hands as we walk around.
taking silly pictures in a photobooth.
having a movie night and only watch corny stupid movies.
going to the mall and trying on funny clothes just to laugh at each other.
and going in to the beach in the summer time to sit and watch the sunset together up in the dunes.
 
ugh, but for now, i'm just a heartbroken fifteen year old sophomore, that was lead on and heartbroken but an eighteen year old senior. </3

op, well here it goes.
 
on tuesday i had a snowday and most of the morning i was texting eric. he had asked me what i was doing and i simply replied that i was on tumblr.
 
then he asked if i wanted to hang out for a few hours.
 
you don't know how loud i screamed.
luckily i had already done my hair and makeup so i ran upstairs to get dressed and then he picked me up (since he's 18 and a senior;]).
 
we got to his house and he took me upstairs into his room (which his like his own little apartment with a couch and tv) and we decided to watch a movie. i had assumed we were just 2 friends hanging out watching a movie but about 15 minutes into it he said "alright let's make this a little more comfortable"

he put his arm around me, grabbed my hand, and i proceeded to lean into his chest.
 
oh lord was this perfect.
 
then he laid down and i followed by resting my head right onto his chest. he tucked a stray hair behind my ear, kissed my forehead, and then wrapped his arms around me and held me tighter than any boy ever has before.
 
everything felt so unreal. i closed my eyes for a few minutes and just listened to his heartbeat and it was perfect.
 
the movie ended and we both sat up and said "i've had a lot of fun with you diana." he buried his face into my hair and i could just feel the kiss coming.
 
i turned my face so i was looking at him, and then he kissed me. not just a peck either, a real kiss. he pulled away and kissed my check and i returned with a peck on his cheek too.
 
it was around 4:15 then. we had been cuddling for almost 4 hours.
 
he drove me home and kissed me again, this time a sweet kiss, before i left.
 
i can't even begin to explain how perfect everything was. i had just spent the afternoon with eric, the senior i've had the absolute biggest crush on.
 
but i was wrong.

yesterday was very lovely:3
 
i went to my friend drew's locker and i turned around and saw eric and he was like "hey! i have our band tee's back in the classroom i'll go grab yours."
 
and drew was all confused on why i was holding money and eric was walking over to me with a backpack and she was like "IS THIS A DRUG DEAL?"
and he was like "nah she's buying our new shirt, are you jealous? haha"
and she waaas.
 
and me and eric talked for like 5 minutes before a group of my other friends came over to me and we walked down the hallway for class.
 
and i texted him ten minutes later cause i felt bad because i didnt say bye to him, i just sorta left and he walked back to his classroom. haha ooops.
 
but he said it was nothing to worry over because i bought a shirt and he loves me forever.
 
chyeah dats right
LOVES ME FOREVER.
 
&&&& when i got home i saw he had wrote in my tumblr ask box. so qt.
 
ugh, bby love me already. haha.:3

i went to see eric's band play again on sunday night. they played about an hour away at hangar with sparks the rescue, amely, and you, me, and everyone we know.
 
despite the rainy terrible weather it was actually a very fun night. me and my friend drew were one of the only people that came to see his band so when they played i got to be front row. and he was just gorgeous.
score one for diana. hahha
 
he came up to us while other bands were playing so i had no idea what the hell he was trying to say tho hahah.
 
but he took me home.<33 probably the highlight of my night. their guitarist, lyle, drove and eric was in shotgun and me and my friend drew share A seat. yes, just ONE seat. hahaha.
 
we were squashed up against their guitar cabs and equipment and everytime we went to turn eric would slide his arm back to stop everything from killing me. so sweet. hahha
 
but omg, him and lyle had the funniest conversations. i wish i could've taped them cause i was pissing myself laughing.
 
when i got home he texted me and was like "thanks so much for coming tonight."
and i told him he didnt have to thank me cause i wanted to go.
and he was like "well it means alot seriously."
 
and ughghg. he's too cute and i want him to love me so we can be the cutest couple ever.
 
KOALA TEA NIGHT 2010

so i went to see eric's band play yesterday. :3
 
my friend heather and i walk in to this little like country club room and there's seniors everywhere. like everywhere. & it was all the attractive indie ones. it was mad awkward cause we're only sophs and we honestly really didnt know anyone. and i just see him running around setting up mic's and stuff.
 
so we chilled in the hallway for a little and went into the bathroom right before the first band went on and these 2 girls come up to us and they were like "do you guys know anybody?" and we were like NO! thank god we found you.
 
then we went back to watch the first band play, and the were like intense screamo and i just couldn't take it seriously because it was like a semi circle around the band and everywhere had their arms folded nodding their heads. and there was christmas decorations on the walls. haha it was funny, but they were pretty good. and the second band was great too.
so after the second band went on and they were setting up for the third one me & heather were talking to our new friends and i felt a tap on my shoulder and i turned around and it was eric. :3
hey was like "Hey! thanks so much for coming" and gave me a hug. A HUG. oh my god i was so happy. i know i sound like a loser but i dont care. okay, so then he was like "i'm sorry i didn't say hi earlier i've been running around all night." and was just like yeah there's a lot of people here." but he just kept thanking me for coming. and omg im just in love with him.
 
and blah blah the third band went on and the singer was just crazy, like he went out into the crowd and was screaming in girls' faces. haha. my friend had called me during it so i went into the hallway to call her back and when i came back iinto the crowd these guys were like intense moshing and like flailing all over the floor and this other guy was video taping it. & i was just like oh shit i do i get back to heather?! hahah. but i managed to do so safely.
 
then eric;s band went on and we moved in closer but there were these man whales in front of us, so like all i could see was their singer randy and like half of eric's body. but they were so good. and i know i've said all the bands were good but i really enjoyed their set.
 
yeah but anyway. he hugged me. haha.

for those of you interested here's an update of that senior boy mentioned in my previous set. btw his name is eric.
 
kay so anyways after an incredible amount of pressure from my friend alex, i texted him on monday. and we talked about school and stuff and blah. so anyways i asked what he was doing after graduation and he said that if his band wasn't signed/touring that he'd go to school for film.
 
i just about died right there. school. for. film. omg. for the longest time i was gonna do that but i changed my mind. ugh. he's just perfect for me.
 
okay, back to story. so i told him i would be surprised if he's not signed. (cause his band is actually quite good) and i told him touring with a band was like one of my biggest dreams & he told me i should go with him.
and i was just thinking ughrjf you dont even know i would love too! haha.
 
so this morning he im'd me on fb.
i was home alone and i just started flailing and squealing (cause im a giant loser) and i was shaking and i couldnt type hahaha. anyways he was asking me if i was going to any of his upcoming shows and shit & i was like chyeah brah totally am. and he was just like thank you so much, this means alot to me.
 
and i was like. marry me now please.
 
haha not really but ya get the meaning. hahaha
but i'm REALLY excited for their CD release show in 2 weeks.
omg.

so there's this senior. and i'm like in love with him :3
like really we'd be the complete perfect couple. jqajhdfd. and like he plays bass in a band and they're so good and they just released an ep within the last week and i messaged him on facebook asking him if i could still buy it and he said yes and gave me his number.
i died. legit died. omg.
so like i texted him on tuesday and found him in school and bought his ep. but now everytime i pass him in the hallway he smiles/says hi to me.
jgnsdkmfda. i melt everytime. omq he's beautiful.
but like i want to text him and become friends (and then more than friends ;]) but i;m a giant baby.
so instead i've just been listening to his band on repeat the last few days. haha
 
what is my life..? jrgksfdmfa/